Top #25+ Happy New Year Jokes

Happy New Year Jokes:New years eve is a time honored tradition of going out with your friends and remembering the best parts of the year and resolving to be better at the stuff you weren’t so good at. Also there’s a lot of drinking involved. At least that’s what most of these new years jokes are about. Now read through these new years puns before you’re late for next year!

If you’re looking for funny new years jokes to tell at a party this year, then you’re in the right place. This list is chock full of enough new years eve puns to keep you laughing into the new year! If you’re tired of being the only person at the party without a few funny new years eve jokes hidden up your sleeve, you’ll want to keep this list on hand all evening in case the perfect moment presents itself right before the countdown. 

Whether you’re hosting a new years eve party or going out on the town, this list of hilarious jokes about new years eve is bound to make you laugh off your goofy new years glasses. Vote on your favorite jokes about new years eve!

If you like our Top #25+ Happy New Year Jokes, then make sure that you share it with your social media friends on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.


Happy New Year Jokes

What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own. Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym! 
I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year
I haven't seen you for a year! What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year?
He gave up thinking. What's the problem with jogging on New Years Eve?

New Year Jokes
New Year Jokes


Boy to a Girl :
“You Are Like A COIN”
Girl: hmmm, wow realy..??
.
.
.
.
Boy: No,no actualy i Want To Say
Thee pay day mounh waliye.
Happy New Year.
Wait a second, there's ANOTHER year? I have to do it all over again???
I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It's a nice reminder of what I did all year.
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.
My New Years resolution is 1080p I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night. 
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
I like New Years. The confetti covers up my dandruff.
The ice falls out of your drinks! What do you call always wanting a date for New Year's Eve? 
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Every time’
WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever’
Happy New Year 2018

Happy New Year Jokes
Happy New Year Jokes
Social Security New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out. 
What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous 
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!" Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes I will try to figure out why I "really" need 5 facebook accounts.
Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.
I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'm not in them.
A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, "Happy New Year everybody." and the waiter says, "We are in June you drunk man."
And the drunk man says, "Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!"
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs.
May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!
If your life sucked last year, it's probably still going to suck tomorrow.
I'll remember 2017 like it was yesterday Dear Luck, .....can we be friends in 2018 Please? 
In 2018, may your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you.
My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time & money to charities. I've decided to make my own coffee once a week.

Happy New Year 2018 Jokes
Happy New Year 2018 Jokes 
Every New Years I celebrate making it through another holiday season without killing my relatives.
Every New Years I resolve to lose 20 pounds, and I do. The problem is that I gain 30.
My brother's New Year's resolution is to move out of my parents house. You'd think after 49 years he'd try another one.
To kick start my New Year:
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I resolve... I resolve 2...
I resolve 2, uh...
I resolve 2, uh, get my, er...
I resolve 2, uh, get my, er,
off-line work the one, to!
I think it’s great to make your first date a New Year’s party. That way, you’re at least sure you’ll get to first base.
My new years resolution is not to shovel snow. Since I'm gonna be in Florida, I feel pretty good about it.
What do you tell someone you didn't see on New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year! 
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can start covering hell with them as usual.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year. A Cassandra stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
For my new year’s resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your bad grammar.
We will open the book,
Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them individually.
The book is called Moment and
Its first chapter is New Years Day.
What happened to the Irish man who discovered about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.

New Year 2018 Jokes
New Year 2018 Jokes 
What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous
Women get a little more passionate about New Year's Eve than men do. It’s like a justification: you drink too much, you make a lot of commitments you’re not going to keep; the next morning as soon as you wake up you start tearing them. For men, we just call that a date.
Oh My Dear, Forget your Fear,
Let All your Dreams Be Clear,
Never Put Tear, Please Hear,
I Want to Tell One Thing in your Ear
Wishing you a Very Happy New Year.

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